Cloud, away

Cloud is gone. I knew it as soon as I saw that his name had been erased off the list of dogs to be walked. The ink smudge of his name was still visible on the white board but I knew he was gone.

I think it was done yesterday. His bloodwork had come back earlier in the week. There was something wrong with him. He'd been urinating large amounts of clear liquid. Every morning his bedding was soaked. So the bloodwork came back and there was something wrong with his adrenal values, something wrong with his liver. Maybe if Cloud were a younger dog, maybe if he were a dog without the issues he had, maybe if there were more people who had shown some interest in adopting him, maybe then more tests would have been done, maybe some diagnosis, some plan ...

TAS had asked around to the other shelters and rescues to see if anyone would take him but no one offered. That's understandable. He wasn't their concern. Everyone's got more than they can handle already. No one wanted the added responsibility of looking after a sick old dog who urinates in his bed every night. I can't fault others for something I didn't offer to do myself.

So, no one is to blame and everyone is to blame.

And I had just recently written someone about how Cloud would be kept in adoption until he was found a home.

The hardest part is knowing that Cloud had finally grown to trust us. That's the thing with these damned lost dogs - they always end up trusting us to do the right thing.

Goodbye Cloud. Now you are away. May you rest well.