So I was on Animal Housecalls on Tuesday. Nicola, from Toronto Animal Services, had Pattie on the show because Pattie's been at TAS for way too long now, still waiting for a home, and for no good reason since she's sweetheart. Pattie had also lost that sagging post pregnancy belly and looked very svelte (btw Pattie got transferred to the Toronto Humane Society yesterday - she'll have way better luck finding a home there - much thanks to THS for taking her). Anne Rohmer, host of the program did her usual excellent job and I'd like to thank both her and the producer, Amanda, for having me on the show.

Click on the episode for Jan. 10, part 2 (don't know how long this episode will be available online).

Overall, it was a very interesting experience especially since I haven't been on TV since that time when ... well, let's not go there right now ... and things have changed quite a bit. Afterward, I thought it would be wise to make some notes in case I'm on TV again ten or twenty years from now.

1. Pay attention to the host. A few times I started looking around the studio thinking the camera wasn't on me but then boom, wide angle catches Anne and Nicola having an intelligent conversation and me staring off at the pretty lights in the studio. I should've covered for it by waving and pointing to some imaginary person in some imaginary audience but instead I didn't think of doing that at the time and I'm sure viewers must've wondered if my brain was experiencing a brown out.

2. I'm glad I wore pants. For some reason I thought the camera would only show above the waist or that the counter we were sitting behind had a solid front so that our lower halves would be hidden. For that reason as well, I'm also glad I didn't scratch myself inappropriately.

3. They don't use those clapboard thingies. We were chatting and I was waiting for some signal the show was going back on air and suddenly Anne turned away and started talking louder and I'm like, whoa, what's that all about and it's a good thing the camera was on her face and not mine because I would've looked like someone lost in one of those rambling markets in Asia somewhere where there are no street signs and everyone's trying to sell you a Rolex.

4. I need to have a more expressive nose. Looking at the video of the segment, it's apparent that when I talk, the middle of my face looks like it's been the site of about fifty botox injections. I need an acting coach for my upper lip, my nose and my lower eyelids stat.

5. After getting my nose powdered by a professional studio make-up person, I felt very important. I didn't get any lipstick, though, which was disappointing because I always say, if you're going to go, you gotta go all the way. Plus I should walk around with an entourage.

6. The most important thing about being on TV is to take a deep breath and relax and just have fun. It also helps to have a packed sandwich in case you get hungry and your stomache start gurgling next to the microphone.