(I'm starting to look at on-line Great Dane adoption photos and thinking "Maybe," but then the saner part of me pulls me away and slaps me across the face a couple of times and yells, "What do you think you're doing?" I might be pining for a Great Dane but they can be such hard on the heart dogs with their short life spans and awful ways to death.

Of course, what Stella gave to me was more than worth every moment of worry I experienced but being worth it didn't necessarily make it easy.

And now I miss her terribly still. I look at old photos of her. I reread what I wrote about her. Wasn't it funny when ... Oh, remember that ...

I miss her enough that I want to replace her but we all know that's not possible. Even as we find another dog of the same breed, same colour, same size, we know it's not possible to replace that which is irrevocably lost but a part of us still tries. I think that's why so many people keep going back to the same breed. Trying to reignite what has been extinguished.

We got Smitten partly because of Barclay who was also a Bearded Collie and we loved Barclay to bits. If I ever do get another Great Dane, it will partly be because of Stella and I know it will never replace Stella but there will always be a part of me looking for her, even just a touch of her, in the new dog.

Here's a repost from June 2008, the first post I ever wrote about Stella from the old blog)

This morning, as I was walking Stella, my Great Dane, to the park, someone stopped and pointed and said:

"Hey, you got a saddle for that yet? Har, har, har."

Dane owners get that a lot, probably even more than actual horse owners. Here are some other great lines:

"Is that a dog or a horse? Ha, ha, ha."

"You ever ride that thing? Heh, heh, heh."

"How much for a pony ride? Huyuck, huyuck, huyuck."

And then it kind of repeats itself.

"Where's the saddle? Snort, snort, snort."

"Nice horse you got there. Teehee, teehee, teehee."

"Can my kid get a ride on that? Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck."

So, let's see. I hear that about once a week and Stella's been with me about 5 and half years so that's 5.5 * 52 = 286 times now.

I got Stella when she was 6 months old. Elizabeth told me that there was a great dane pup being housed at a kennel by a woman who was in hiding from her husband. Apparently, this happens a lot: an abused woman finds herself in a situation where she can hardly look after herself let alone any dependent pets (Safe Pet and other organizations can help out). I was dogless at the time and had no intentions of getting a dog but, what the hell, a quick peek at a Great Dane pup wasn't going to hurt.

Later, at the kennel, there she was: six months old and already 85 pounds. All gangly legs, long neck and big ears.

"Hey, she looks just like a horse!" I said. "I'll have to get a saddle for her."

And that, folks, is how you get suckered in.