One day God needed to take a break from making stuff to go attend to some other urgent business. Usually when this happens, He gets one of the archangels to take charge of the production line but they were all off on a company team building, all-expenses paid cruise to see some icebergs. The only one left up in Heaven who wasn't already otherwise occupied with harp or horn playing was Bob.

"Bob, I need you to do something," said God.

"Sure thing, Boss," said Bob.

"I need you to finish making these dogs," said God. "It's really easy. Here are all the instructions you'll need. See? It's a chart. It tells you which head to pick from this pile, which body from this pile, which tail from this pile and which legs from this one. You throw them in here, set the dial to 12 and give it about seven minutes, more or less, and you're done. Got it?"

"You can count on me, Boss," said Bob.

So, God went running off and Bob got busy. He first looked at the chart God had given him.

"These combinations are so boring," thought Bob so he sent the chart off to the rock making department and decided to improvise.

Things went pretty smoothly at first. Bob made big dogs with big heads and long legs, medium sized dogs with medium sized heads and mid-length legs, small dogs with small heads and short legs. Some had short hair. Some had long hair. Some had curly hair. Some had heads with extra I.Q. Some had heads with especially sensitive noses. Things went smoothly until Bob got to the end when he discovered he had a bunch of mismatched parts. He could've sent the parts off to recycling but not wanting to be one short on the quota, Bob decided to make a dog out of them anyway. He threw the parts into the maker machine and seven minutes later, this dog came rolling out:


When God came back and saw what Bob had done in not following His directions at all, He was royally pissed.

"Bob, you really screwed up this time," God roared. "There was a very specific, pre-determined, recipe for making these dogs and you've totally mucked it all up. What am I going to do with these things?"

Bob lowered his head and dared not look into God's angry eyes.

"I mean look at this mess!" and God picked up the last made dog and stared at it. Surprisingly, it stared back, not shy, not afraid, unlike all the other creatures God had made. It squirmed about in God's grip, it's short legs paddling the air and its big ears flopping about. God brought the dog closer to examine it and the dog licked God's nose.

Bob almost fainted.

All the harps and horns of Heaven went quiet. You could've heard a feather dropping onto a cloud.

And then Heaven heard a sound it hadn't heard in a while. It started as a low rumble, then became a waterfall and pretty soon God's laughter shook the very foundations of the universe. He hadn't laughed like that in ages.

"I like this," God proclaimed and there followed much rejoicing in Heaven.

Later, after the partying was over and the dishes were all done, God picked up the short-legged, last made dog and said, "I think I will call this one Mr. Snorgleface."

"I was thinking about calling him a Basset Hound," said Bob.

"Don't be ridiculous," said God. "What kind of a silly name is Basset Hound? He's Mr. Snorgleface."

"Sure," said Bob and then wrote down "Basset Hound" anyway in the "Product Name" blank on the work order.





The best way to check on the adoption status of this dog (and other dogs and cats and other small domestic animals) is to visit Toronto Animal Services or call 416 338 6668 for the Toronto Animal Services South shelter.



15 Comments to “Nixon - Basset Hound mix”

  1. NK says:

    This story made me smile inside and out! The picture of him leaning on the tree; classic!

  2. Biscuit says:

    That is a supah-cute dog. He's like a Bassett/foxhound/beagley kinda thing.

  3. Anonymous says:

    The leaning on the tree pose looks like it's ready for a single's magazine. Absolutely love the work you are doing.

  4. That picture of Nixon standing up next to the tree reminds me of those high school yearbook photos I've seen from the preppy boarding school set-- like Miss Porter's School for girls. Mostly its the girls but why be sexist about it. All he's missing is the button down shirt. Or a strand of pearls....

  5. Anonymous says:

    I dunno, I kinda like "Mr. Snorgleface". There's a lot more character in it than in "Basset Hound".

  6. SA MVH says:

    Instead of Nixon, couldn't he be named Mr. Snorgleface?

  7. Anonymous says:

    Fred, you're simply brilliant. And I prefer "Mr. Snorgleface" too.

    Still smiling!!

    PurpleMagpie

  8. Anonymous says:

    Love you, love this story, love Mr. Snorgleface the dog.

    How on earth did you get the tree pose.

  9. Anonymous says:

    Absolutely priceless -- you've outdone yourself!!!

  10. Anonymous says:

    Fred: You are simply A MOST WONDERFUL MAN. A MOST WONDERFUL WRITER.

    I think GOD would so agree with me.

    Just love you to pieces.

  11. Anonymous says:

    Any story on him ? Was he dumped by a couple ? Inquiring as our neighbor had an almost identical looking sweet boy who we'd noted has not been seen in sometime. They had not had him for very long....we never saw him at the dog park ...in fact we never saw him walked beyond peeing on the grass behind the building. He was often left alone in the apartment for very, very long periods and had pretty severe separation anxiety. Wonder if this is him ???

  12. Mel says:

    Yeah Fred, you're pretty okay too. But Mr. Snorgleface? So full of awesome.

  13. Fred says:

    Hi Anon, Nixon came in as a local stray. The person who turned him in said he'd kept him for a few days.

  14. Fabulous post. Thank you for the smile.

  15. This dog is IDENTICAL to my dog !! I got mine from a boarding kennel about 3 hours from Toronto but his name is Reese. Maybe they're related 😋

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A request

The reason for this blog is to help get specific dogs adopted from TAS but equally important is to try to normalize the idea of shelter dogs being just as good and just as desirable as any other dogs including those which are regularly merchandised by backyard breeders, puppy millers and those few remaining pet store owners who still feel a need to sell live animals. The single greatest stigma shelter animals still face is the belief that shelter animals are substandard animals. Anyone who has had enough experience with shelter animals knows this is untrue but the general public hasn't had the same experiences you've had. They see a nice dog photo in a glossy magazine and too many of them would never think of associating that dog with a dog from a shelter. After all, no one abandons perfectly good dogs, right? Unfortunately, as we all know, perfectly good dogs are abandoned all the time.

The public still too often associates shelter dogs with images of beat up, sick, dirty, severely traumatized animals and while we definitely sometimes see victims such as these, they are certainly not the majority and, regardless, even the most abused animals can very often be saved and made whole again.

Pound Dogs sometimes discusses the sad histories some of the dogs have suffered. For the most part, though, it tries to present the dogs not as victims but as great potential family members. The goal is to raise the profiles of animals in adoption centers so that a potential pet owner sees them as the best choice, not just as the charity choice.

So, here's the favour I'm asking. Whenever you see a dog picture on these pages you think is decent enough, I'd like you to consider sharing it on Facebook or any other social media sites you're using (I know many of you do this already and thank you for that). And when you share it, please mention that the dog in the photo is a shelter dog like so many other shelter dogs waiting for a home. If we can get even five percent of the pet buying public to see shelter dogs differently, to see how beautiful they are and how wonderful they are, and to consider shelter dogs as their first choice for a new family member, we can end the suffering of homeless pets in this country.
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